It’s been three weeks since I performed TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU REALLY, REALLY WANT at Videofag here in Toronto. A week long residency lead to three public performances that were intense for me as the houses were small but attentive. They brought a generous curiosity that helped go forward, explore and trust in what I had created.
I had micro dramaturgy sessions with Patrick Blenkarn (Vancouver/Halifax), Tedi Tafel (Montreal), Dustin Harvey (Halifax), Sophie Gee (Montreal), Thea Fitz-James (Toronto), Erin Brubacher (Toronto) and Jacob Zimmer (Toronto). Each session I had questions about the process, how much to structure vs. how much to leave open, the set up of the audience, what can the audience do to help me through the show, what is a temporary utopia?, how to anticipate possible failure and success. These conversations were lead by inspirations, music we love, people we know, experiences we have had. I needed emotional and instinctual support and as much as theoretical and intellectual support. I spent one day without these conversations and felt lost, sad and drifting away from my goals. After a rough first show, that still had some beautiful and incredible audience members, I received some wise advice.
I owe a lot to these micro dramaturges who gave their time, energy, ideas and support to a project they basically knew nothing about and had no personal stake in. This process helped renew a belief that the community I am lucky enough to be in is fantastic on a bunch of levels but so much so in the gernosity department.
I am lucky.
I am blessed.