photo by Jeremy Clarke

In November of last year I did a one time only performance entitled TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT at Studio 303 as part of an OFF-CINARS showcase.  I was working completely solo on the project; no writer, no director, no designers, no dramaturges, no producer.  I built the show more in the vien of performance art or stand up where I had a list of actions I intended to perform.  I wanted to include the audience in a major way, taking their wants & desires (from small white postcards) and incorporating them in the show as it went along.

This did not happen.

I wanted to take some of these wants & desires and try to amke them happen in the middle of the show.

This did not happen.

TELL ME - audience writing3

I wanted the show to be less about me and more about the people around me.  I wanted to create an atmosphere of inclusion, of confession, of release, of intimacy, of a future that could be.  I wanted to transend the usual expectation between the performer/creator and the audience, where a show with a certain amount of entertainment exists.

This may have happened a little bit.

I wanted to express myself with dance and non-verbal communication instead of relying on a lot of talking.  I wanted to expel anxiety, destroy shame, explode in a celebration of the here and now, trust that strangers around me might get something from my non-vebal communication.

This happened a few times.

I wanted to see if I wanted to continue to perform.

Yes I do.

I needed to get through the piece without feeling shitty about myself or beating myself up if something went wrong.

I did this, for the most part.

I wanted to create something that I would want to perform over and over again.

Well so far, no.  But never say never.

TELL ME - screaming


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